For more than two years, Joe Lipsett has dissected Amityville Horror films to explore how the “franchise” has evolved in increasingly ludicrous directions. This is “The Amityville IP.”
Considering the pressing relevance of discussions around the use of AI in everything from writing emails to (often incorrect) Google searches to, yes, making films, an Amityville film on the subject actually makes sense. After all, these films are all about cashing-in on a high concept name, a buzzy/topical element, or both. Artificial Intelligence definitely fits the bill.
Of course, there’s theory… and then there’s execution.
The latter is where Amityville AI gets into trouble because the film is a mess from a technical perspective. This is another bare bones indie feature where a few folks do all of the heavy lifting, but director Matt Jaissle (who pulls triple duty as editor and cinematographer) can’t manage to deliver a compelling finished product.
It doesn’t help the movie is obviously hampered by financial limitations, but considering that at its core, the very premise of Amityville AI is indebted to advances in technology, Jaissle would have been better served tweaking the story (credited to an idea by Ron Bonk) to reflect the realities of the production.
The film follows software developer Stuart Birdsall (William Childress) who works for a non-descript company. Stuart has just moved into a “smart house” in Amityville to continue working on his two years in the making AI creation, Vic 9000 (voiced by Jaissle). Vic is visually represented as a phallic orb comprised of glowing lights and attached to laptop in a briefcase. It’s one of several references to other (read: more famous) sentient computer technologies and 2001 is even name dropped in a news broadcast, so the film is at least aware of its filmic predecessors.
This semi-knowing wink only goes so far, however, when the production design fails to match the dialogue and narrative. Stuart live streams a tour of the house (seemingly just for the audience’s benefit) but what we see runs contrary to all of his claims. While Stuart intones about the home’s high tech security and how he controls it via his smart watch, the accompanying visuals are of a completely average, verging on antiquated, house. As a result, Stuart comes off as deluded, out of touch, and possibly even a joke, which seemingly wasn’t the intent.
Naturally, because this is Amityville, Vic is quickly possessed by something in the house and becomes murderous. This alone would be sufficient, albeit predictable narrative, but Bonk’s story almost immediately over complicates everything; at times even abandoning the very idea of AI for nonsensical set pieces and characters.
Take, for example, a white trash neighbour, Claude Griswold (Victor Gabriel), who stops by. Claude also claims to work in AI, which is quickly revealed to be a “joke”; in reality he has recently purchased a Sex Bot (Laura Reyes) from China which immediately turns homicidal (which, sure).
The unintended result, however, is that Stuart flees into the woods and never returns to the house. He spends the rest of the film on the run from awful looking CGI drones and yelling at Vic via his watch, which feels like a missed opportunity to actually interrogate what a cross between AI and Amityville possession could look like.
Even moments that do seem like they’ll explore humanity’s reliance on technology at our own peril feel pat and uninspired. In one sequence, Stuart’s wife Vicki (Laura Schubring) is targeted by Vic while driving, but the film doesn’t even have the wherewithal to have her using cruise control or feature a self-driving vehicle!
It’s frustrating because there’s a simple version of the story where Stuart is trapped in his house and terrorized. Sure, this might have come off a little safe and even formulaic (Demon Seed literally did this in 1977), but at least then it would have been effective.
As it stands, Amityville AI feels out of touch, vaguely unaware of what AI actually is, and – like so many of the later films in the “series” – too long and boring for its 70 minute runtime. At this point in the editorial’s run, I’ll take familiar but well-executed any day of the week.
The Amityville IP Awards go to…
- Stupid Stuart: Perhaps if Stuart were a more compelling protagonist, watching him flail about town would be more enjoyable? As it is, Childress simply doesn’t have the screen presence to lead a film and, as written, Stuart simply react in a realistic or compelling way. Weirdly, the character never realizes that continuing to communicate with Vic means that he’s communicating with the entity that is actively trying to kill him. It’s baffling.
- Smart Observations? Even when so many things are laughably bad or inept in the script, there are a few enjoyable moments of spot-on accuracy. Take, for example, the naming of software Open Origin TalkGPT and the name of the company’s creator: Cam Onlyguy (a clear play on Onlyfans). Yes, it’s low hanging fruit, but a few more purposefully dumb elements would have made the film better.
- Sex Bot: One person who is having a ball is Laura Reyes. It’s not exactly a quintessential robotic performance, but the actor clearly enjoyed running around asking “Hi daddy. Sex today?” while making stabbing motions.
- What is AI exactly? The Sex Bot and the smart house make sense, but the film appears to think that a conventional unplugged hedge trimmer is also AI. Amityville films aren’t known for their hard and fast rules about what the house can and can’t do, but too often Amityville AI winds up feeling lazy. Where does the AI end and the Amityville nonsense begin?
- Amateur Reporting: Staying true to most of the late stage Amityville films, there’s an overreliance on news reporters delivering non-sequiturs and pedantic exposition dumps (They’re naturally all played by various amateur YouTubers, etc. See also: every Shawn C. Phillips entry). Still, “franchise” stalwart John R. Walker manages to sneak in, which is kinda fun.
- Johnny? At one point, he is threatened by a random hooded serial killer named Babylon Butcher that looks like a cross between Johnny from In A Violent Nature and Jason Voorhees. Why? Umm, because the film felt like it?
- Company Schompany: It is so laughable when films can’t even be bothered to include company details. There’s an extended meeting sequence where talking heads discuss mergers, layoffs, profit, and workload, but it is, at no point, clear what Stuart and his colleagues actually do.
- Amityville Connections: I do love a callback, however, so hearing a shout-out in one of the news reports to none of than Frank the turkey from Amityville Turkey Day was lovely.
Next time: oh hey, there’s a sequel to this film! I guess we’ll check out Amityville VR (2024) next to see if it’s better or worse than its predecessor.
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