Solo Leveling has given us some of the most intense battles in anime this season. It’s easy to get caught in the stunning visuals and harrowing climaxes, cheering for Sung Jinwoo as he faces the likes of ice elves, bears, ants and misremembering the names of his opponents. But part of what makes these battles compelling, at least for me, is the reason why Jinwoo’s doing all this in the first place. Anime protagonists are no strangers to facing overwhelming monsters of the week, but I feel that we get so invested because of their reasons for throwing themselves into danger. That’s why we’re so happy when they succeed, and Solo Leveling did something really special to cap off Jinwoo’s victory. He was allowed to cry. RELATED: Solo Leveling Episode 21, “It Was All Worth It” And I don’t mean a gentle, delicate cry, nor do I mean blaming the watery eyes on allergies or onions; I mean full-on sobbing with tears streaming down his face. After an entire season of him coming off as a cool, stoic badass, we’re reminded of one very important thing about the man so powerful that he can send the Ant King scurrying away in fear. He’s human, and he’s been grieving this entire time. RELATED: What Watching Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End Showed Me About My Grief As someone who unexpectedly lost a parent about a year ago, I know that parental grief isn’t easy, but it’s also kinda… weird? As sudden as it can be, there still tends to be this “It was gonna happen eventually” feeling that lingers in the background. My older brother, for example, was unexpected. He was 26 to my barely teenage 13, so no one was expecting someone so young to die. We don’t expect parents to outlive their children. My dad, however, was in his late sixties, so as sudden as that phone call was, there was a bit of “This is what happens when you get older,” followed by a WHOLE lot of phone calls and paperwork that someone could talk me through. It was exhausting, but also? There’s a bit of a handbook on what to do in situations like this. I say all that because, to me, Jinwoo’s situation feels like he’s been in limbo. No one expected his mother to fall victim to the Eternal Sleep Disease, but she’s also not dead. While there might not be a cure for this illness, there’s a chance there may be a way to help her someday . She’s not dead; she’s just sleeping… forever, for now… question mark ? Since she’s in this state, there’s no real sense of him being able to plan for anything when it comes to her. There’s no “She’ll come out of this,” nor is there a “She’s going to die.” So Jinwoo’s left to be the family caretaker while his mother “sleeps.” This includes taking care of her medical bills (ouch), his sister’s tuition (double ouch), and any regularly scheduled responsibilities. This is a lot to deal with for anyone, but if you’re like me, having to focus on how to pay for X, Y, and Z and how to complete the task at hand can feel like a good distraction. It’s a way to, seemingly, push the grief aside. I certainly thought that was the case, which is how I learned that grief is very much still there as you’re trying to distract yourself from it. Grief is just one of those emotions that constantly reshapes itself. It’s not just crying and being sad, grief can also be hyper-focusing on a task, especially if you feel like the task can help in the long run. Case in point: Jinwoo is a hunter. RELATED: Solo Leveling Episode 1 "I'm Used to It" As an E-Rank hunter, it seems ridiculous for Jinwoo to be throwing himself into so many dangerous battles. He’s injured all the time at the beginning of Solo Leveling , but as that first episode tells us, “I’m Used to It.” We know that, as an E-Rank hunter, Jinwoo’s become used to racking up repeated injuries, but I think it can also mean that he’s used to moving forward and taking the hits as they come. For four years, he’s had to figure out how to take care of his loved ones (one of whom may never wake up again). RELATED: 6 Anime Characters That Remind Us It's OK to Cry Basically, he’s used to surviving, and when you’re constantly in that mindset, you don’t always stop to think of the toll it takes on you. And if part of your survival is tied to grief? Why, you’re likely to decide to explore a double dungeon that’ll change the course of your entire life . After facing that traumatic experience, Jinwoo gets a second chance from a mysterious system that kinda works like a video game. Through daily tasks and extremely high-risk dungeons, he starts to get stronger, but he never loses sight of the reason why he wants to be strong. More hunter gigs mean better pay and better pay means he can take care of his family… even if it means walking into an S-Rank dungeon far too early and facing off against something like Cerberus. RELATED: Solo Leveling Episode 7, “Let’s See How Far I Can Go” Reckless? Oh, absolutely, but when Jinwoo learns that said dungeon may have the one thing that can fix everything (the Elixir of Life), patience is the furthest thing from his mind. After all, it’s not like he’s hunting to protect mankind or do the right thing; he’s in it to make ends meet. And now? He’s found out that maybe he can do more than survive. Maybe he can solve the problem. Throughout most of Solo Leveling , Jinwoo’s hyper-focused on this problem, almost to a mechanically programmed level of dedication. Go to the dungeon, fight enemies, level up, and get closer to the ingredients — lather, rinse, repeat. In Season 2, he’s so focused that he starts to feel more threatening than the very beasts he’s fighting. We get a lot of moments of someone — man or beast — watching him fight and wondering what he is. The animation adds to this, giving us several instances where he looks like some foreboding menace who is far above the ranking system used for hunters. RELATED: Solo Leveling Episode 18, “Don’t Look Down on My Guys” But that’s what happens when you’re THAT locked in. Instead of Jinwoo’s grief taking on the form of a woefully inexperienced E-Rank hunter, it’s now been shaped into a man who can command a (shadow) army. Then? He succeeds, and he cries. This is one of the most significant moments in Solo Leveling to me, a moment so important that it even gets a new insert song. For me, Jinwoo crying isn’t just a portrayal of succeeding in helping the one you care about the most; it’s an illustration of what it feels like when you finally start to let yourself heal. No more scaling multiple dungeon floors at breakneck speeds. No more entering ominous rooms far too soon. No more trying to outrun the grief. There’s no need to deny that the grief's been there the whole time. Jinwoo can finally fully embrace it, and honestly? There’s something so healing about having the space to let go like that. I imagine that at that moment, the full scope of what Jinwoo had been through hit him. I couldn’t help but think of my dad again, a moment that came and went in what, on some days, felt like two seconds, while others felt like 500 years. That said, no matter how hard that was, I can’t imagine having that stretched into four years of uncertainty and a chance that you could have your parent back if you managed to survive a literal trial by fire. So, of course, Jinwoo cried! Thank goodness he did! You have to let those feelings out. Furthermore, you deserve to let those feelings out. What’s the point in fighting so hard if you can’t feel all the relief, joy, exhaustion, and everything that comes with reaching the conclusion you worked so hard for? As the episode title tells us, “It Was All Worth It.”
